Life ⋅ as ⋅ Forensics

teacher meetings

2007-08-08T17:23:35Z

They suck. They are rarely interesting. Gracias para el interneto!

test

2007-07-31T04:42:57Z

sick.

Dwight (The Office) Love

2007-03-14T03:23:52Z

As the temperature in New York reaches nipple freezing proportions I can at least take solice in the fact that I can come home from a hard days work and watch my favorite programs...oh wait it's post sweeps which means I have nothing but reruns to look forward to for the next couple of weeks. I could write a post filled with inside jokes from The Office, but that would make me miss those crazy characters all the more. So I won't do it, even though it will be extremely hard...ANDDD THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. Wow, I am tweny four years old...long sigh...let's continue. Even though the Office has taken a break to refill it's supplies that doesn't mean you can't watch new content. I have compiled the 10 best Dwight Schrute hidden moments for you to take a gander at. These were collected from deleted scenes, bonus material, and the NBC primetime preview special in which The Office hosted. As NBC used to tell us, "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you". Here ya go, enjoy. Let me know what you think in the comment section.

R2-D2 Mailboxes Confirm Rumors

2007-03-14T03:20:06Z

The rumors are no more! Feast your eyes on what will soon be popping up at local United States Post Offices!

As reported here earlier, the USPS will be helping Star Wars celebrate its 30th anniversary. Stay tuned for more as we get it, right here at TheForce.net.

In the meantime, click away on these super cool R2-D2 wrapped mailboxes. I want one for the end of my driveway!

Special thanks to the Nuclear Ferret for the images.

Career Survey

2007-03-08T23:46:18Z

Career Survey
Originally uploaded by The Detective.

Peeking Pets

2006-11-30T03:22:32Z

Peeking Pets
Originally uploaded by The Detective.

I miss the Bootito.

Ms. Braitkrus

2006-11-23T08:18:54Z

you are my pierogi.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T05:14:40Z

I am so deficient on this, and I do apologize, but I do want everyone to have a WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!!!

Much love.

Chuck Palahniuk is Santa Claus

2006-10-04T00:36:25Z

The day has finally come! Chuck is allowing you all the month of October to write him letters via his agent at Donadio & Olsen. It's been about two years since the last fanmail window was opened and Chuck has been very busy inbetween. So many of you probably thought this day would never come again. But Chuck has set aside much of the Fall and Winter to answer every piece of mail sent to him. And I can tell you that he's already cooking up some new surprises for the reply mail he sends back to each of you.

Dear Alan Moore (or The Watchmen)

2006-09-30T07:47:26Z

I'll be honest. I loved V for Vendetta, but I will always take Alan Moore's side.

It's like explaining the notion of being awake to a narcoleptic.

You either get it, or you don't.

No offense to any party. At all.

But, my profile icon...it's of page 9 of issue 11, i believe.
right after where Ozymandias told R and O that he had just killed half of New York.

You don't understand the impact of it until a few scenes after.
It's a horrible tale.
But, in it's telling, it's beautiful.

So, i'll see all of Alan's shit, up until The Watchmen.
For him, I won't do that.

They've used him as their slut.
But, we all have our limits here, mate.

the detective.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

2006-09-28T01:53:21Z

"Saved by the Smell"???

Night school blows.

I'd love to see this.

2006-09-20T01:12:58Z

The Sugarcubes...live...

(via Pop Candy)

Do you really want me to ruin it for you?

2006-09-19T23:47:51Z

All the answers to the TV show LOST...

Understand: SMALLER THAN LIGHT

2006-09-17T03:29:09Z

"This is the first time a superlens, a lens capable of creating images of objects smaller than the wavelength of light, has been integrated into a microscope and used to visualize two-dimensional objects. "

Definitely not safe for work. Definitely.

2006-09-07T23:20:06Z

(via grouphug.us)

Cows make me horny,
they make me want to jack off,
I am so nasty.

...

I haven't had sex in so long I think my hymen is growing back.

(this is an anonymous confessional site...be shocked and somewhat amused all at the same time)

Latin isn't just for scholars anymore.

2006-08-18T01:08:25Z

The reusable condom dates back to 1640 and is completely intact, as is its orginal users' manual, written in Latin.

(Pic in the link might be NSFW)

Hallelujah

2006-07-29T06:11:07Z

Hallelujah

Hallelujah...

Hallelujah

Scott Stapp is a rock god.

2006-07-17T02:19:39Z

I feel bad for normal people. Really. I think that we (yes, even me) get jealous of a mega-rock star like Scott Stapp.

He lives the life that we all envy.

His fans idolize and respect him.

And, his music is...well, someone bought it.

Haterz, don't hate...appreciate the venereal disease that is Scott Stapp.

Peace out.

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Rainbow

2006-07-15T19:01:30Z



"Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Rainbow" on Google Video
Dark Side of the Moon synchronized with The Wizard of Oz

Superman Might Get Naked

2006-07-15T00:50:46Z

Ok, maybe he should be drunk...

Superman star has tantrum after make-up made him look 'wimpy'

2006-07-15T00:44:28Z

At least he wasn't drunk.

Justin Timberlake is a Pop God

2006-07-07T23:31:21Z

Yeah. You know, I've been waiting for a chance to buy music. I will purchase his new album after the new Joy Division comes out.

"The best way I can describe that song is say David Bowie and David Byrne decided to do a cover of James Brown's Sex Machine," Timberlake told reporters.

I always thought he was a combination of Darrin from Bewitched and Gomer Pyle, mixed with a little of piece of Jetrho that hangs out near a local 7-11 in his pick up.

Why Miami Will Win (even though I don't want them to)

2006-06-19T04:11:08Z

Why Miami Will Win (even though I don't want them to)

1) Superstar coach-Pat Riley
2) Superstar center-Shaq
3) Superstar guard-D. Wade
4) Sub superstars-G. Payton, A. Walker, A. Mourning.

I have been watching the series and I've noticed that Nowitzski is being hammered inside and when he gets the ball. Luckily, he is moving well without the ball.

Shaq has so little game, nowdays, but he gets away with pounding people on offense and defense. Back in LA, it was a mix, where he didn't get a lot of calls, because of his size, yet he hammers Dirk and gets away with it.

Riles has never been a "great" coach in my opinion, but an average one with superstar caliber players. He tends to think he is better than he really is.

Wade, in my opinion, is one of the most OVERRATED players in the league. Sure, he can get his (he's that good), but plays minimal defense and gets way too many calls to go his way. In Game 5, he even leveled the ref, stayed on top of him, then got off of him and came from out of bounds to score, even tho the footage shows that his feet were still OUT OF BOUNDS. Yet, it doesn't matter. His "status" is like that where if someone even gets close to him as he shoots, refs favor him. The reason for this is the league's "need" to replace MJ. Kobe was it, until Colorado, and LBJ will soon be it, but he needs to get deep into the finals. So, for now, the league uses Wade, and through repayment, they give him most calls on offense and defense. Example, at 2:16 remaining, on a drive to his right to the basket, he cleared a defender out with his left arm, no one touched him, and he gets the foul and the basket.

G.P. has so little offense, now, it isn't funny. It's sad to watch younger players run circles around him. Great defense, once, that has boiled down to just watching. J. Terry, et. al, have just eaten him alive off the dribble, but they don't get calls to go their way.

A. Walker never had any defense. EVER. If he had his choice, he'd stand outside the three point line and shoot, even tho he's 6'9", and listed as a power forward.

Mourning is a great player in decline, yet, as a sub, he has found a niche to make great plays and have great energy. Still has good defensive skills.

To be honest, I feel bad for Nowitzki. He's a great player. Awesome skills. A Larry Bird type that can do it all, and doesn't turn the ball over that much. Yet, watching him being pushed, shoved, and essentially taken out of his game by the refs is horrible.

It's also sad to see Coach Johnson. Great coach. Great motivator. Has shown what it takes to be a premiere coach. But, he had his best bench player, J. Stackhouse, taken out of this game due to a reasonable defensive call, but the refs, as par for the course, "over called" it and decided to suspend him for one game. Ridiculous.

Watching this Finals has really made the NBA a very depressing and silly game.

It's OT. We'll see what happens.

WWSD?

2006-06-11T03:43:59Z

People often infer a bit too much about existentialism. They think that we say existence is subjective and meaningless (which really is a bit far from the truth), they think that we just abandon all hope of ethical theory as well.

Bastards.

I'll be honest. It really kinda annoys me. Call it a pet peeve.
But, to be real honest, "existential ethics" isn't liberalism, either.

What would Soren do?

For the ladies...

2006-06-05T20:47:18Z

What is the best way a man can tell a woman that she's leaking through her tampon and on to her jeans? Should he even bother? (this happened at work today).